Thursday, March 4, 2010

And so it begins....

Well, the Possibilities Tour has begun. I just began my leave of absence officially on Monday (the two shifts I had to pay back notwithstanding). But it was quite a beginning. I ruptured my right eardrum on Saturday, and spent Day One (Monday) trying to figure out how to get in to see the ear doctor, and worried I might need surgery. No need, I just have to return in 3 months for a re-evaluation, and at that time, we'll decide if tubes, surgery, or anything else is necessary. But I haven't been hearing too well since Saturday....

Day Two I had an eye appointment. No problems there, but I had my eyes dilated, and so I sat in my house that day, unable to see AND unable to hear!

Day Three was by far the worst. I didn't sleep the night before, had to wait 20 minutes to get gas (the pump wouldn't let me pay outside, so had to wait in line with the cashier), got a ticket that morning for apparently not fully stopping at a stop sign, was late for yoga as a result, and then had to work my final shift at Emory ED. It should have been a 3-11 pm shift, but it was so busy, and I had so many sick patients, that I didn't get into my car to come home until 3:23am. I cried the whole way home.

I only mention all of this because I've been questioning this decision for a while now, to take this time off, and haven't known if it was the right decision, or not. But today, I thought about the past three days, and how (1) when the ear doctor was able to see me, I didn't have to reschedule my life in order to be seen that same day; (2) I didn't have to make sure I didn't have to work after having my eyes dilated; and (3) I was so miserable during that shift yesterday. So I'm taking all of these three things as signs about how this IS the right thing after all.

And so it begins. Time to explore the possibilities.

1 comment:

  1. I wish you well on your journey, knowing full well that you have a lot of time in front of you, and hoping that you are able to live in the now, experiencing every moment and hoping the experience leads you to the life you want to lead. I love you Emily. Take care of yourself and remember that I am here for you.

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